wat bout pragnant strippers??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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