why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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