I wish my penis had an off switch
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
