did you get engaged???
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
