i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
