but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do herpes really smell.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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