Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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