I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
