I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
