What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
