bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
