I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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