Sponge bath it is.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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