is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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