I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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