I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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