She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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