So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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