worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
After tacos, we're chasing women.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
