Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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