Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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