Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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