I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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