Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
