your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
