So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
