I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ketchup is God's man juice
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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