It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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