so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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