when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
