you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
