I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
