I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
