Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
