is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
