Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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