I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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