thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
