for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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