I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I believe in your delicious
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
