R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
