turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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