And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
