so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
