He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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