Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
