i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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