Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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