all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
please come you make the beer taste better
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
