just tell him i said nine months
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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