with your own penis?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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