So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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