she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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