I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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