Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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