Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
